The Importance of Heartwood
2018 was an extremely difficult year, with many contributing factors, including going through a divorce. As with many relationship endings, it was complex, and I was sitting with (and sometimes being bowled over by) a wide range of emotions in any given second. Even with that whirlwind inside of me, one thing was very clear - I didn't want to keep my ex-husband’s last name that I'd taken when we got married, and I didn't want to go back to my family of origin name. (Which feels a little ironic now that I'm an ancestral healing practitioner!)
A few days after my ex said he wanted a divorce, I was laying in bed listening to a Buddhist podcast, and about five minutes in, I found my new last name, Heartwood. The episode was about a Buddhist simile involving the layers of a tree, from the outer branches to the heartwood in the center. Full disclosure, I do not in any way identify as Buddhist, so the intended lesson of this simile might be something other than what I got from it. But in the moment, the meaning I made of it felt life changing.
According to this talk, the layers of a tree correspond to the five steps toward enlightenment. My take on it is that someone can get stuck at any of the outer layers/steps for a variety of reasons, and each of them comes with its own challenges, because the only layer of the tree that is completely unshakable is the heartwood. It takes perseverance and a constant renewal of your dedication to truth in order to reach this final heartwood stage of enlightenment.
Little did I know at the time that the next seven years of my life would be completely dedicated to seeking the truth in as many ways as possible, but some part of me intuited just how important this story was. Heartwood became a beautiful last name that I love, and this simile also represents my take on our healing journeys. They are often difficult, sometimes we falter (or need to consciously take a break from them!), and it takes faith and repeated commitment to avoid complacency and to continue down this path.
I've found many lovely healers and teachers along the way who have helped me become who I am today (and who I continue to become, hopefully for the rest of my life!), and I'm now honored to be able to do the same for others. My goal is to offer you support and inspiration on your journey toward your own personal heartwood, where you can find strength and stability. And as you connect with your ancestors and receive their blessings, they will also be able to join you on this path.
(For funsies, I recently found that podcast episode and listened to it again, and still found it really touching. I've included it here if you'd like to take a listen too. Thanks to Gil Fronsdal at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, California for such an inspiring talk!)